Asking Eric: A friend of mine suspects infidelity

Dear Eric: For almost as long as my husband and I have been married, close to 40 years, we have had a wonderful friendship with another couple, also a married man and woman.

However, in the past four years or so, the wife has asked me, “What’s up with you? What have you been doing today?” I read between the lines that she thinks I am possibly doing something involving her husband.

In the course of the conversation or text she finally mentions that her husband is not at home. I honestly believe that she is writing down what I normally do on different days of the week and checking up on me.

Never in the span of nearly 40 years has there been anything but a friendship between me and her husband.

Now I find myself volunteering what I am doing like a child explaining to their mother. She also wants me to be in an Apple thing where you know where your friends are at all times.

One of her closest friends did have a husband that cheated on her and that friend may be casting doubts her way and not helping the situation.

– Innocent Friend

Dear Innocent: Who has the time for all this detective work? Time to tell Agatha Christie to step away from the typewriter.

Point out the tendency you’ve noticed. You can do it in a friendly way. “It seems like you’re asking about my schedule a lot lately. Is there something behind that? Would you like to spend more time together?”

Perhaps she’s just lonely or bored. Maybe she actually does think there’s something going on between you and her husband. But your imagination is going to run wild just like hers is until you actually talk.

You’ve been friends for 40 years. There is, one hopes, enough goodwill built up between the two of you that you can have a non-accusatory conversation and clear up any confusion on both your parts. If it’s going well, don’t be afraid to be direct

Sometimes in life you just have to say, “Susan, I am not sleeping with your husband.”