Dear Eric: My brother and his family are born-again Christian. I stayed with him in his hometown for about a week while I was having surgery to remove my prostate.
After the stay, my brother told me that I was no longer invited to his home because my atheism made them uncomfortable, but we could always meet at a café.
I don’t wear my atheism on my sleeve, but he did attempt to convert me. No big deal to me.
I am back in the same town for a month of radiation treatment. They asked if I needed anything, like meals prepared, and I declined.
My wife and several of his children want me to attempt reconciliation, but my exclusion from his home as an inferior person is a showstopper.
– Unwelcome Visitor
Dear Visitor: I’ll refrain from expounding on the many Bible verses specifically about welcoming people into one’s home. It is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than it is to define the “right” way for a person to practice their faith.
I wish I had more information about what prompted your brother’s discomfort. Was it simply that you didn’t accept his evangelizing? I’m curious about whether you’re in active conflict or if he’s simply a “my way or the highway” type.
Reconciliation isn’t fully your responsibility here, though. Radiation can be grueling. I can’t imagine sending a family member back to an empty hotel room, even if I did pack them a bag lunch.
For now, focus on your health and peace of mind. But when you’re feeling up to it, break bread at a café and see if you can find common ground.
Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.