DEAR MISS MANNERS: At my husband’s 20-year reunion, I wrote “Sam’s wife” on my name tag. I knew that only three people there knew me, and that no one else would likely remember my name the following week — they’d all refer to me as “Sam’s wife.” So I went with that.
It was fun. Most people reacted well, and some even laughed and said, “You’re right, we might not have remembered your name!”
The funny thing was that several times, I was scolded and told that I should “have my own identity” and so on.
GENTLE READER: It is only funny if you think it’s amusing to be treated condescendingly.
Miss Manners might have been tempted to say, “Well, I would have put my own name, but I’ve been married so long that I don’t remember what it is.” And then excused herself before the lecture about “being a person in your own right.”
What might be amusing is to know if Sam would get the same reaction if he identified himself at your reunion as “Samantha’s husband.” Miss Manners’ guess is that this would be considered charming loyalty from a supportive spouse — whom nobody would doubt is also a person in his own right.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
